How Not to Cook a Turkey


My friend called the other day and said, “ your turkey is always

sooo good. I love the way you let the natural flavors come

through. I don’t understand why my turkey never tastes so good.”


I asked her how she cooks her turkey. Here’s what she told me –


Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out


If you’ve never cooked a turkey before, or if you’re tired of dry turkey, be sure to grab your copy of Dance Through Thanksgiving and make the most delicious juicy turkey you’ve ever tasted!


To quote Chance in Homeward Bound…”Turkey, Turkey, Turkey!”



5 thoughts on “How Not to Cook a Turkey

  1. Pingback: ezineaerticles » Blog Archive » Common Sense Living » Blog Archive » How Not to Cook a Turkey

  2. Dorathy Salvi

    someone will probably find that it’s not exact enough and is regulated over too high a temperature range. Cooking takes place over a range of 100-250F and a degree of inaccuracy of + or – 10F is not critical. Cooking thermometers will reflect this.

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