Coping in an unfathomable world

We never could have believed the state that the world would be in. Its all too much for us mere mortals to cope with.

Even if we think we are coping, there are too many concerns under the surface that are eating away at us –

• Will we get covid? Is it safe to go out to dinner, a movie, a concert…?
• Will rising costs put is into trouble?
• Will we be able to afford a car or a house?
• Should we bring a child into this miserable world?
• If you are a single woman, do you dare risk dating?
• Will we get shot or carjacked if we venture into the city?
• Will nutso Putin push the button?
• Will the next storm destroy us?
• $19 per hr. for a babysitter? How can you afford to work?

Its all too much for us to deal with. And we’re coming to grips with the fact that life will never be the same.

The sense of loss we feel for our former selves or the life we used to know is a form of grief—it’s a pervasive, recurring sadness experts have coined “chronic sorrow.”

Chronic sorrow was also described in medical literature as the “cyclic sadness over time in a situation with no predictable end; external and internal stimuli triggering the feelings of loss, disappointment, and fear; and, progression and intensification of the sadness or sorrow years after the initial disappointment or loss.” PubMed

For people who have lost a loved one, or developed a chronic disease, or lost their home, or had their hopes of owning a home crushed by the insane housing market its even worse.

Everything is so crazy and out of our control.

And that is where our semi solution comes in- take control of what you can.

• There is comfort in routine.
• There is comfort in a clean, calm environment.
• There is strength that comes from proper nutrition and sleep.

There really is a lot that you can control –

Really clean the house

Put things away – right away when you can. Otherwise, before bed.

Clean the kitchen nightly, and wipe down the bathroom.

Getting up to a clean house gives you a calm start to your day. And when you do it consistently, it really only takes a few minutes.

Do the laundry all the way through to put away. Seriously. Folding and putting away a basket of laundry takes 5-7 minutes. I’ve timed it. The stress of looking at piles is not worth the little bit of effort it takes to put it away.

You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel when you’re home is in order.

Organize the cabinets

When its too hard to put something away, we don’t.

• Donate things you never use.
• Find someplace else to store those things you use once or twice a year.
• Invest in stackers and such to make your space more efficient.

Get rid of stuff

We all have too much stuff that we never use. Believe me, it is so freeing when all that excess is gone. I’m down to a fraction of what I used to have, and honestly I could get rid of a little more. Don’t leave it for your kids to clean up when you’re gone.

Besides, there are people who can use it, right now.

Open the blinds

I’m surprised at how many people Have blinds pulled, or sheers with curtains. Even sheers take away light. Open it up! Let the light in! It will brighten your mood.

Bring in some color

The trends of boring beige and depressing grays is finally ending as people are bringing in color to brighten their homes. Even if you don’t paint or replace furniture, you can bring in color with throw pillows, towels, flowers, art, dishes, …

Uplevel your appearance

Yes, it makes a difference – even if no one sees you. There are days when I don’t put on make-up. On those days, every time I catch myself in the mirror, a part of me goes – ugh.

I’m even thinking about ditching the denim. Yeah, me! Many yoga pants look like dress slacks these days.

Look your best, even if its only for your own mental well being.

Eat Real Food

You’ll save money, be healthier and feel better, and lose weight.

You can make meat go farther. Chicken breasts by me are up to $3.99 lb. That’s double!

But you can feed 4 with 2 chicken breasts with things like fajitas, wraps, bbq sandwiches, teriyaki with vegetable and potatoes or rice, casseroles, …

Use more vegetables, potatoes, rice, beans, … to fill your plate.

When you make your own food, you don’t have all the sugars, fats, and chemicals. You’ll be healthier, have more energy, lose weight, and feel great.

Get out of the house

Take a walk every nice day. I’m a fair weather walker. There is a lady I see that walks every day, rain, shine, cold… I gotta give it up to her! But for the rest of us, when we are blessed with a nice day, take 15-20 minutes and get out in the fresh air. It feels great!

If you have a mall in the area, you can walk there.

Work out

While walking is great exercise, we also need to pay attention to our upper body. Have you noticed how much harder it is to reach over your head? We need to use all of our muscles and keep our joints moving.

Do breathing exercises and stretches every day.

I personally like resistance bands for toning. 

We need people

Part of our mental health issues is the isolation we’ve experienced. But, we can’t be negligent either. I weigh every situation. I’m really tired of it, but… you still have to be careful.

And Zoom isn’t doing it for us.

Try for small groups where you can spread out, preferably with vaccinated people. Even though I’m vaxxed and boosted, I’m still not comfortable going to a crowded restaurant, or anywhere with crowds really.

I got a text from a friend this morning. A friend of hers has covid. We had spent time together a couple of times this week. Ugh. To think that I may have been spreading it without knowing it is a burden. But we can’t stop living entirely for heavens sake!

I guess at this point, you have to choose the level of risk you are comfortable with. Find some ways to have real face to face (6ft. apart of course) contact. We are social animals. We need that.

Give to your local food pantry if you’re able.

Yeah, its great that people are sending money to Ukraine. However, there are people right in your own neighborhood that are hurting. Do what you can.

Help people

Helping people makes us feel good. Even if its just holding a door open, or carrying up groceries.

If your neighbor is struggling, make them dinner, or cookies.

Even a smile or a compliment can make someone’s day.

You can be generous without money.

Smile

Did you know that if you are feeling down, just smiling will make you feel better? Find things that make you smile and put them around the house where you will see them.

Laughter is also good medicine. Find something to laugh about daily.

Rein in the spending

A lot of us have been spending more money than we should have. Its time to pull in the reins.

We’ve gotten in the bad habit of buying things we want, I guess as a way of self medicating. However, if we don’t stop, we’re going to get into trouble.

Spend less on eating out. If you are one of those paying for deliveries, you have to stop. It is way too expensive. Either go pick it up yourself, or even better – make your own food.

With the prices going up the way they are, the next few months are not going to be pretty. Stop now before you’re in trouble. You don’t need that stress on top of everything else.

Say your prayers/meditate

• Express gratitude for what you do have.
• Turn over the things we cannot handle.
• Get Guidance
• Experience peace

Watch less news

I’m all for keeping informed, but watching relentlessly doesn’t help us. There are some people who watch 3 hours of the nightly news and then flip over to News Nation and watch a few hours of commentary on the news. Oh no, no, no. One newscast a day is adequate.

You can spend your time more positively and productively.

As a matter of fact, you can be spending so much time taking care of life that you don’t have time to dwell on the negativity.

Sing and Dance

Really. It makes you feel happy.

Here’s a good song to start with –

Stay strong!