Common Sense Living

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My sister and I were talking about Joan Crawford and Judy Garland and how our own mother had similar traits. It’s a pain that never goes away.

Many of you wrote in after my last post about my mother relating painful experiences that you had too.

Why am I so intent on writing about this subject? Because Mothers are the most powerful people in the world. We create leaders, or terrorists, self confident, or messed up, or healthy or sick adults.

Yes, the role of a mother is difficult, and time consuming.

It’s gotten to the point where kids aren’t disciplined, or fed right, or they don’t get enough sleep or exercise, Parents are working hard, and often don’t feel like dealing with kids when they get home. Dinner is fast food or something microwaved so that these parents can sit in front of the TV and unwind. After all, they’re entitled, aren’t they?

Maybe you are entitled, but the kids gotta come first. I know of a couple of parents like those above that are going to be in for a rude awakening when their kid gets old enough to move out.

That’s what Mother’s Day really is all about. The mothers that gave their all to make sure that their kids had the best start in life.

The mothers who lovingly made fresh dinners, packed fresh lunches, and in their spare time, made fresh chocolate chip cookies.

The mothers who kept a home where the kids weren’t embarrassed to bring their friends.

Many of these tremendous mothers worked. And most of these fantastic women don’t get any fanfare – except for Mother’s day, birthdays, and Christmas.

Instead, I hear comments like this one I heard today, “I’ll have to cook. My husband and my son won’t lift a finger to fix a meal or help clean up.”

So, what’s the whole point here?

If you’re lucky enough to have a good mother – give her a day off. Give her a clean house, and a day off from cooking. Show her the appreciation she deserves. Is she the most important person in your life, or a slave? I mean, c’mon…

If you are a mother, take this time to reflect on the job you’ve been doing as a mother. What will your kids be like when they grow up? Will they be healthy, confident leaders in society? Or will they be fat and sick, and not able to function in society?

If you know of a kid who has a troubled relationship with their mom, or an absent mom – be there for them. You can make a difference. I’ve had many fabulous mothers step in to give me advice, encouragement, and guidance. I will always love them for it. And I’ve tried to do the same for troubled kids that come in and out of our lives. It’s not the same as having your own great mother, but it sure is a whole lot better than none at all.

I’ve read your stories of selfish mothers, alcoholic mothers, and absent mothers. And I know firsthand how you’ve tried to function normally even though you never really had a good example.

And I’ve read your touching stories of great mothers who are now gone.

In the book Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul, and a Second Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul, there are a number of stories about memories left by great mothers and grandmothers. They are stories that I can’t really relate to – but I dream about what it must be like, and I aspire to, even though I was never really equipped. (These books are great gifts ideas if your mom doesn’t own a copy. I pick it up and read a story here and there when I have a few minutes to relax. I thought it was a corny gift when I first got it, but it turned out to be a thoughtful gift.)

For some reason, mothers touch our lives in ways no one else can.