Common Sense Living

This was contributed by Roxane. I thought you might get a laugh out of it.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don’t. 
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture. 
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, having dogs and cats is easier than having kids because they: 
(1) eat less, 
(2) don’t ask for money all the time, 
(3) are easier to train, 
(4) normally come when called, 
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don’t talk back, 
(7) don’t want to wear your clothes, 
(8) don’t have to buy the latest fashions, 
(9) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and 
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children

I hope your week is off to a great start!

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

You know I have hyper-dog. He’s always into something. He’s always licking. Drives me crazy – and I keep thinking one day he’s going to lick something not good – know what I mean?

And the cost of vet visits give me nightmares.

It’s getting warm, and our little darlings will be out getting into all kinds of trouble.

So when this came across my desk today, I sat up and took notice. I had to tell you about it right away!

Its called How to Be Your Own Vet, and it’s written by Gaetane Ross with the help of her vet friend Sandy. Here’s some of the things they cover –

• Always know what course of action to take in emergency situations… Life saving advice to combat almost any emergency medical situation that your dog may encounter…

• Stop using harsh and expensive medications and start using highly effective natural remedies that work from home to treat all of the most common dog problems, from fleas to diarrhea to the common cold… (you know that is right up my alley!)

• Save thousands of dollars in medical costs over the life of your dog by diagnosing and treating common diseases yourself…

• An Inexpensive surefire cure that stops diarrhea INSTANTLY, see for yourself on page

• Want to stop fleas dead in their tracks without using harsh and expensive chemicals? We show how it’s done

• Worm treatments that WORK, without expensive medications…

• Do you know what to do if your dog is poisoned?  Find what to do, and more importantly what to avoid at all costs when your dog is poisoned.

• A little known cancer treatment that works when traditional medicines fail… It may work for you

• Did you know that heat stroke is a very common cause of death in dogs? Find out how to avoid heat stroke, and how to treat it when it happens

• Life saving emergency techniques, these can mean the difference between life or death in an emergency

• What would you do if your dog stopped breathing? The information on may save your dogs life…

• Make absolutely sure that your dog is the healthiest and happiest dog it can possibly be…

I haven’t bought it yet, but it’s on my list of must haves – You can check How to Be Your Own Vet out for yourself here >>>

Some things around the holidays can be very harmful – even fatal for your pets.

Eating tinsel can cause choking, and it’s not fun to clean up after. While eating ribbon is not necessarily toxic – (though they could choke), it’s also a real pain to clean up after. I’ve had to resort to stick on bows. No more curling ribbon in this house!

Eating pieces of broken ornaments can cause cuts and bleeding.

Poinsettia, holly, and mistletoe can cause stomach upsets. If they are drooling, vomiting, or have diarrhea, get them to the vet.

Depending on the size of the dog and how much Chocolate they eat, chocolate can cause a caffeine-like overdose which may lead to high heart rate, agitation, tremors, or seizures. 

Grapes and Raisins can cause kidney disease. If your dog is lethargic, not eating, or vomiting – get them to the vet.

Macadamia nuts can make them extremely sick, but it goes away in a day or two. They may be weak or unstable, vomiting, or have pale mucous membranes.

Onions can cause a type of anemia that causes the red blood cells to rupture. They may not get sick for a couple of days after eating onions.

Bread dough can expand inside your pet causing extreme pain, poisoning, and kidney failure.

Peelings from fruits (including tomatoes) or potatoes can cause stomach upsets. Do not give your pet any green peelings from fruits or potatoes. They can eat green vegetables though. My dog loves broccoli.

 Remember that table food is generally not good for your pets. This time of year it seems so caring to feed your pet some extra treats in the form of scraps. But it’s best not to feed them something they don’t normally eat. The extra hub-bub is already stressful for them. Keeping your pets healthy is the most caring thing you can do.

Carole

a.k.a. – ‘Mother’