Common Sense Living

Its the last week before school starts, and I’ve been taking my own advice and getting out and enjoying it with my daughter. We’ve had a few set backs though.

Monday and Tuesday were too cool to swim. But my neice is in, so we’ve been kept busy! Today we were going to swim, and just as I finished cleaning the beach – they spary the lake for weeds. No swimming today

So we’re going to go check out the heritage farm near us that we’ve just never gotten around to. You sort of take things for granted when they’re in your own backyard, don’t you?

Then tonight – we’ll be doing dinner with my sister and clan. The Cheesecake Factory.

Tomorrow? Maybe we’ll get some swimming in finally…

And the cherries have been really good. We’ve been eating a lot of cherries!

Anyway, I just wanted to nudge you to remind you to get out and take advantage of thie great weather, and the last days of summer vacation. You’ll be kicking yourself this time next month if you don’t.

Have a great rest of the week!

Well, it looks like the scum is back from summer break

I don’t know why I’m a target, but here they are again. If you get emails with subject lines like “Lindsay Likes it Thicker” and other such nonsense – its not from me.

Companies hijack domain names and use them to get their emails delivered. Rest assured, they do not have access to my mailing list. They just use my domain name in the headers to make the emails look like they’re from me.

I have security on my domains that is not supposed to let them do that, but they do it. I’ve complained to the DOJ, but since these companies are usually in other countries, and they move their IPs around – they are next to impossibkle to catch up to.

I still don’t understand what makes my domain so attractive. Maybe because I’ve been online so long? I don’t know. They do this to me 2 or 3 times a year until the domain gets blacklisted, and they move on and bother someone else.

So if your security monitor shows yellow, there is nothing wrong with the site.

The worst thing is that I will have a hard time getting real emails through to customers – which really upsets me. Sometimes my emails end up in the junk folders. Sometimes they won’t be delivered at all.

If you have sent me an email, and it appears that I have not responded – always check your junk folders.

Thanks guys. I appreciate you!

I’m curious. How many of you have stopped buying BP gas?

I just read an article where BP is asking for tax breaks to help them clean up the spill.

Excuse me? You sidestep safety regulations, cause a big disaster, and then you want taxpayers to help you clean up your mess?

You know what really pisses me off about all of this government bailout stuff? Why is it that they have an inherent right to stay in business? If you or I are incompetant in our business dealings, we’re done, right? We don’t have any inalienable right to stay in business.

Will the world survive if we have one less big company raping us?

Image by enggul via Flickr

 
It’s been a weird week for me. Ads are starting for Mother’s Day, and my mother’s birthday would be this weekend. It’s especially weird this year because I am just turning the age when she died.

My mom died at age 53 from sinus cancer. It’s still pretty rare, but then it was unheard of.

My mom didn’t give herself a chance at life.

She never spent any time outdoors. She never ate fresh fruits or vegetables. She used salt like it was going out of style. She didn’t get any exercise.

She smoked 3 cartons of cigarettes a week (I kid you not), and drank.

When she was being diagnosed, I talked to the doctor in the hall before he went in to see her. I explained to him that she smoked a lot, and that she had a drinking problem that she would deny. He acted like I was lying and went in to question her.

He proceeded to ask her questions about her lifestyle. He asked her if she drank. She said yes.

He asked how much. She said 2 drinks a day.

At this point he gives me a dirty look and asks her what she drinks. She simply states, “JB.”

He says, “JB and what?” She says, “ice.”

He asks, how big a glass. She says, “oh, you know, a regular glass”, and makes motions with her hands to show the size of a regular tumbler. Like you would drink pop in.

I thought the doctor was going to fall off his chair.

She was drinking 32 oz. of straight JB a day – but in her mind, she was only drinking 2 drinks a day.

We weren’t close. My mother was abusive. I left home at 16. I was 18 when the state gave me emergency custody of my 15 year old sister.

I tried to be there for her as much as I could, but my plate was pretty full. I had my grandparents that needed help (her parents), a premature baby at home with a tracheotomy and medical equipment, an alcoholic husband, a house, a dog, a yard, and a full time job. At one point I had my grandfather in one hospital, my mom in another, and my grandmother didn’t drive. And I lived an hour away from all of them. The only help I had was my good friend who would watch my daughter because I couldn’t leave her with her dad.

The cancer was pretty awful, and quick. It ate through her esophagus so that if she drank a glass of water she would drown. It quickly spread to her brain. She was dead in 6 months.

I quit drinking after that. I eat well and take my vitamins. I get plenty of exercise. But one thing I’ve never been able to conquer is the stress in my life. My life has always been a circus. And I still smoke. I guess it’s my form of tranquilizer. (I never claimed to be perfect!)

As I come up to my mother’s birthday I wonder, will this be the year I fall over and die from the stress? Will I be one of those people that has a heart attack out of nowhere? Will I manage to live longer than my mother? Weird, isn’t it?

Turns out that I’m certainly not alone in my mother issues. Mothers have quite a hold on their children that effects them throughout life. From now until mother’s day, I’ll be writing about some of these. I think we need to address the issues we harbor within ourselves about our mothers, and try to understand how we might be affecting our kids.

And you can bet I’ll be focusing on eating even healthier than usual until the end of the year when I will have managed to live longer than my mother.

Want to join me on my eat healthy to stay alive crusade?

I hope Beth doesn’t mind, but I’m posting her question because many of you may have the same questions.

Hi Carol,

I just wanted to applaud you for making the decision to quit your job. I know that it was stressing you. Are you going to do your online business full-time now, or get another full-time J-O-B, or a part-time job and work hard on your own business? I am sure that all your readers are wondering what you are planning to do. This could motivate quite a few of your readers to follow their passions, instead of staying in situations that aren’t doing them their highest good. I know I am far happier now that I am living my virtues and dropping the activities that were literally  making me unhealthy and unhappy. You have the computer smarts and writing skills and other talents that it takes to develop a successful online business Keep up the good work! Beth in Colorado*

Wow, Beth asks some heavy questions here. While it’s one thing to make a decision for myself, it’s quite another to make the same recommendation for someone else.

You might be tempted to think that if I jumped out of the plane without a parachute, then you could too. I mean, who quits their job without have either another job lined up, or a thriving business?

In my case, I’ve been working on this for years. But working a full time job has made it difficult to do many of the things I need to do to make my business successful. I believe that with the time to do the things I want to do in my business, I could be successful in a relatively short amount of time.

But I don’t want anyone to think that they can start with no experience today, and make a living in a short amount of time. There is only one way to do that – and it costs thousands of dollars. So if you don’t have thousands of dollars that you can invest in a professional team to get your business up and running for you – you’ll have to start off like the rest of us – doing what you can in the time you have, and continually learning and trying things.

Some people can do it faster than others. I can’t write sales copy very well, and I can’t afford a high paid copywriter. My technical skills are maybe a 5 on a scale of 1-10. It’s taken me a long time to work past these issues. But I’m pretty good at other things.

Some people can write sales letters that will make you drool. Some people can whip together a website using all of the latest greats tools. Some people are naturally good at networking. If you have any of these skills and you’re not putting them to use, shame on you!

But you’re still not going to do it overnight. Please don’t believe that.

So, to answer Beth’s question – I’m going to give it my best shot. I’m not even going to take the time to think about ‘what if it doesn’t work.’

Does it feel good to follow my heart? You bet.

Am I scared? Yeah, a little.

Would I recommend following your dreams? Absolutely, But I highly suggest having a better safety net. I felt like I had to do this. But I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone.

I would recommend that you work towards your goal a little bit every single day. That I highly recommend. Then, when the time is right – jump.

I’m still at the job for another week, and it hasn’t been pleasant. And then I’ve spent every available minute trying to get the computer running OK, and make some strides in the business plan.

It’s been kind of like having a gun to your head. Make it work, or die.

I haven’t eaten well, which of course, doesn’t help. I need to listen to my own advice Getting sick would be a really bad idea right now!

But the house is clean. You might think that’s weird, but it helps keep the stress levels down. My home is calm and soothing. Everyone says so.

I’m going to take a lot of time to play around with my daughter this weekend. We’re both off Monday, so our weekend will be Sunday and Monday. And since it’s probably the last really nice weekend we’ll have – I’m going to make sure to take advantage of it and spend some time getting rejuvenated and ready for the next battle. The next couple of weeks promise to be quite harrowing.

I haven’t told anyone except my sister. I can’t afford to listen to any negative talk right now – and I don’t want my daughter to worry. Watch, this will be the one time she reads the blog…

I’ll have some new stuff to show you soon. In the meantime – wish me luck!

We’ll talk soon –

Carole