33 year old steals daughter’s identity

Posted under aging

 

That’s right. A 33 year old mom in Green Bay, stole her 15 year old daughter’s identity to go to high school and be a cheerleader.

I immediately checked to make sure that she doesn’t own High Energy Eating. While High Energy Eating will make you look and feel years younger, and give you tons of energy, I would never advocate this kind of deception!

She apparently made the squad too. I don’t think she passed for 15, but it was a mug shot. Who knows how she looked when she went to school. And she was good enough to make the squad.

Her daughter is actually being raised by her grandmother in Nevada.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to go back to being a teen. But wouldn’t it be great to look and feel way younger than you are, and have that kind of energy?

It is great. I look at people my age all of the time, and many of them are so old! Even the men. Seriously. Dating someone my age is like dating grandpa. ICK! I’d rather stay single.

I intend to stay 35 as long as possible. That’s a good age, don’t you think?

Carole

Getting Old Jokes

Posted under aging

 

OK, so I’m the target of getting old jokes.

Here’s some that were sent to me -

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER 

 1. Sag, you’re It. 
 2. Hide and go pee. 
 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 
 4. Kick the bucket 
 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 
 6. Musical recliners. 
 7. Simon says something incoherent. 
 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy 
  
  
  SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE : 
 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 
 2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 
 3. You change your underwear after a sneeze. 
  
  
  OLD IS WHEN: 
 1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 
 2. Getting a little action means I don’t need fiber today. 
 3. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. 
 4. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee! 

Only the good die young - Us bitches live forever!

Very funny …

 

Costs of Being Unhealthy

Posted under Diet & Health, aging

 

My 52^nd birthday is fast approaching. You know, as you get older, we tend to do a little more contemplation about where your life is at, and where it’s going.

 

I don’t look as good as I would like to. A hard life has had it’s affects. Spider veins, bags under my eyes from years of stress and lack of sleep. Not too bad though. A lot of my friends look a lot worse and a lot of people peg me for younger. We’re our own worst enemies sometimes, you know?

 

On the other hand, I can run circles around practically everyone I know – even my daughter. I’m rarely ever sick. I don’t pay hundreds of dollars for monthly prescription meds. I’ve never been in the hospital except for childbirth.

 

My grandparents started to decline when they retired. For the most part, they lived a life in front of the TV. Separate TVs at that. While they lived a good long time, they didn’t really have a quality life. They just decided they were old and that was that.

 

My mom was the perfect picture of a bad example. She ate no fruit or vegetables. Ate a ton of salt. Got no sunshine or exercise. Drank a lot of J.B., and smoked 3 cartons of cigarettes a week. She would come home from work and sit in her chair in front of the TV and drink her J.B. and smoke until it was time to go to bed. The curtains were never opened.

 

My sisters and my best friend have always been kind of sickly. Always trips to the doctors, surgeries, meds…

 

I don’t want to live like that. I just don’t want to deal with all of the trips to the doctor, the meds, and the pain of not being healthy.

 

I don’t want to be so tired, or so in pain that I can’t get up and enjoy life.

 

I don’t want to be fat.

 

I don’t want to lose my eyesight.

 

I don’t want to lose my thinking capabilities.

 

I don’t want to live the last 10 years of my life in a nursing home.

 

I don’t want to be a burden to my daughter.

 

I want to do my own gardening, decorating, house cleaning and such.

 

I love it that my house is where everyone comes for the holidays. I don’t want people to come over and feel like they have to do everything for me.

 

I don’t want to deal with the financial costs of being unhealthy.

 

You know, there’s the financial costs, and then there’s the quality of life costs. I’m not willing to pay either.

 

How many years will my health strategies work? I don’t know. Subscribe and keep an eye on me and see for yourself. Or better yet, try them on yourself. They’ve certainly served me well so far.

 

You see, no matter how much money you have, if you don’t have your health – it doesn’t matter all that much, does it?

That’s enough thinking for today. I’m off to wash dishes!

 

 

 

Carole

a.k.a. – ‘Mother’